Some days....

I just really want to be a girl bass player in a disco or funk band.

My beloved Sprouts customers

Sprouts is a funny little store. It's the exact same clientele as Henry's, so I knew what I was getting myself into when I started working there. The majority of customers there have been bringing in their own bags since I worked at Henry's 8 years ago, and they love their kale. Their staple love is an absurd amount of produce but currently they're really into anything gluten free, argentine mate, kombucha, and anything with acidophilus or anything made from soy. As a cashier, I get to check out hundreds of these customers a day which means, hundreds more unsolicited comments or tips regarding my pregnancy. I really don't mind at all because at this point it's become really funny and really exciting to think about what I might hear next from my customers. There's truly something new and funny everyday, so I made a small list of some that have already happened so far. I'm clearly pregnant by now so most of the time, the conversation starts with "When's your baby due?" And then from there, these are a few examples of what has followed the when's your baby due question....

"When's your baby due?"
In May.

1)"Take red raspberry, I gave birth naturally without one problem and so easily cause I was taking so much red raspberry."
I'm not sure I know what that is, and I'm not actually planning on having it "naturally."


2)"Do not find out what it is! The best thing you can do is leave yourself the anticipation."
Um, well I already know what it is and I kind of still feel like there's an element of anticipation.

3)" Well here's my card, I'm a certified Doula."
Oh thanks. ( No clue what she even said. And then I saw the card and later looked up definition of Doula.)

4)"Well let me just tell you, you're life is gonna change. And not for the better girl. I have three girls, one of them is getting married this year and it's costing me $50,000. I'm telling you your life is going to change, shoot.
Me: silence

5)" Do you have a name picked out for him?"
No not yet.
" Well what's your father's name?"
Antonio but I don't think...
"Ooh! That's a great name girl!"
Yeah but I don't think we're going to name him Antonio.
"Well what's your husband's name?"
Nathan
"OOh! That's a great name girl!"
I know, but I don't think we're going to do the Nathan Jr. thing.

6)"Oh well make sure you eat a lot of banana, especially plantains." (Colombian lady buying a large amount of plantain bananas)
Really? Why?
"Oh honey, they're so good for you, you know because of the potassium."
Yeah, I know about bananas and potassium, but why during pregnancy specifically?
"They're just really good for you honey."
Ok.



Or, they might skip the when are you due question and just go straight to saying:

"It's a girl isn't it?"
Excuse me?
"You're pregnant right? It's a girl, I can tell because of the kind of cone shaped belly. I had three girls."
Um, no it's actually a boy.


Or, the customers who have already spoken with me about the pregnancy follow up with me with the following comments:

1)"You look tired today, are you tired?"
No, I'm not tired. Actually I feel really good and energized today, but thanks for the heads up.
"Yeah, you look tired honey."

2)"Have you been getting tired yet?"
Yeah, I mean a little I guess.
"Yeah, I thought so cause I never see you with makeup on anymore."



So that's all I could think of right now, I'll post more as they come. Just thought I better start writing them down, cause they're getting really good.

A few gross WebMD photos

If you didn't know already, I bruise like a banana and I have a freakishly weak right ankle. Ryan please don't die laughing. I have sprained the same ankle repeatedly, (3 times in 2 months) and it continues to just give out on me whenever it feels like it. The other day after I had cooked Nate dinner and was loading it into my car to bring to him at work, I was walking way too fast. I was juggling hot pans and plates and thermoses and there was no joke, a tornado warning/watch going on that night in AZ so the wind and rain were crazy. Tornado? Arizona? Yeah it was real, and it was stupid, and I stepped into a puddled up ditch I hadn't seen and my ankle went a rolling. My big pregnant, heavy, heavy self went tumbling town in the black asphalt of our parking lot so fast and so hard trying to clutch tightly to the dinner I had just spent an hour making. The point of this story is how amazed I am by what a mush ball my body is right now. On any other day had I fallen like this, i would have cried a little and moved on from the pain. But with this new freak belly body, it became an internal injury for the whole next day. I couldn't bend my knee, I couldn't stand up too long, and I had to keep it elevated and iced. It was so embarrassing. Here is the nastiness.




The newest freaky think is the rash on my belly. I have no idea why it appeared. All I know is my belly started itching like crazy, and then this rash appeared, and now it itches as bad as when I had chickenpox. I am a heavy sleeper and this itch is preventing me from sleeping. I'm going to the doctor on Friday. It's kind of hard to see, you have to look at an angle.

22 Weeks

This is what my belly is like at 22 weeks. It's starting to itch pretty bad.


This is what the little man looks like at 22 weeks. This was from an ultrasound specialist.





This is Lezlie's cute depiction of what I think is me at 22 weeks. She painted this!