These are the latest of the most obnoxious comments I've gotten from customers lately regarding my pregnant self. I get the usual 4 standard questions about 100 times a day but these are the ones that blow my mind.
1) Man in his 70's: "I'll baptize your baby."
Me: Silence, trying to pretend I didn't hear what he said
Man: "I'll baptize the baby."
Me:" What was that sir?" I heard perfectly well what he said, just hoping he wouldn't want to repeat it a third time so loudly in front of all the other customers in my line
Man: "I'll baptize your baby, I'll baptize him!" With a HUGE smile on his face.
Me: "That's nice of you to offer." speechless
2) 60 year old woman: "It's a boy isn't it? Please tell me it's a boy so I can take care of it. What are you having?"
Me: Confused by so many fast questions at once. "It's a boy."
Woman: "Yeah I thought so. I would take care of him I mean, are you planning on keeping him? You probably are, is it your first?"
Me: "Yes, it's our first and we're planning on keeping him."
Woman: "Yeah, I figured. I would take care of him though, I wouldn't mistreat him or nothing. I had boys of my own, but their all grown now and I could sure use the tax break. These taxes are killing me now. But, I mean I wouldn't take him just for the taxes though, I'd treat him right I wouldn't mistreat him or nothing. I'd care for him and feed him and clothe him. But that's good you're gonna have a boy and you'll take care of him."
Me: Wanting to hold onto my belly, "Yeah, we're really excited for him to be born." What in the world just happened.
3) Regular male customer that consistently makes offensive comments spots me trying to hide from him while he's in another line: "Hey there you are! You're still here huh?"
Me: "Yep, I'm still here."
Man: "Let me ask you something, are you geting bigger and bigger by the day or is the baby just getting bigger?"
Me: "I don't know sir." Trying to be super busy with the customers in my own line.
Man: coming over to my line after he's checked out "Well someone is getting bigger and bigger that's for sure! haha!"
Me: Pretending not to listen while I deal with my own customers
4) Woman about 60:"When are you due?"
Me: "3 weeks"
Woman: " I just was over helping out my daughter in law that had her baby on Saturday. She has four other kids so she needs lots of help."
Me: "well that's really nice of you, I bet that's really challenging for her right now."
Woman: "Yeah it is. Do you have kids or is this your first?"
Me: "No kids, this is our first baby."
Woman: "Yeeeaah you're really in for something. Once you have one your life is over."
Me: Silence. Stunned.
10 comments:
I don't even know what to say to this stuff...if I hadn't worked at Jimbo's I wouldn't believe it was real. The worst part is all the "environmental hippies" think they are so smart, yet they make the dumbest comments ever. I'm glad you've figured out how to save the earth, now go save yourselves from all the stupid comments you make...and take a bath.
There is a pregnant girl at the Sprouts that I go to. She is always so nice and comes to see Klein whenever I go in there... I wonder what kind of comments she gets :) I am so glad the baby was safe inside your belly for the 60 year old woman's comment. FREAKY!!
Oh, Nichelle, you're so funny - and way too nice to all the crazies!
Eu to rindo tanto q n posso parar. Isso eh tao ridiculo e ao mesmo tempo tao engracado kkkkkkkkkkk Eu entraria em trabalho de parto ali mesmo na frente dessas perguntas hilarias. Agora eu sei porque vc teve que voltar ao trabalho depois do acidente. Vc iria sentir muita falta desses seus clientes loucos. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhaha
you have got to be kidding me... people are seriously ridiculous!
On a good note, I am so excited to meet the little guy! :)
We love you guys!
This is just insane. People are so stupid! I remember the very negative, "your life will never be the same" comments with Ruby. Seriously people...I got knocked up a month after marriage...don't you think I'm scared enough...don't say this crap to me. By the way...the S and G post is a great one and I am very happy to be part of it too. The girls love, "The Zoo Song"...ask for it constantly. It's great! Please tell me if I can help you this week...
You should give your baby to that woman Nichelle. It sounds like she wouldn't mistreat him or NUFFIN. Really. Have you thought this through? You don't get an offer like that everyday...
xoxo
These are hilarious quotes. I can't believe people really say those things to you!
Oh and I think it's so cute that you call people "sir." You are so proper.
Can't wait for you to have this little baby (or 'small fry')! He is going to be perfect.
oh man... i want to quit my job and work at a health food store... I want to meet these people.
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